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07 April 2009 @ 09:48 pm
Les Semaines April 5, 2009: And Taxes  
My father-in-law is dying.

On Monday, Jim phoned to talk with him about his upcoming visit, booked for this Saturday. He was awake and aware and looking forward to the visit. Just a few hours later, Jim's sister phoned to say that he'd taken a sudden and drastic turn for the worst. Now, several days later, it's clear that he had a massive stroke which set up continuing seizures. He hasn't regained consciousness and the seizures only stop under powerful medication. So it's clear that it's only a matter of days now.

Jim left as scheduled and has visited him in hospital, but what was supposed to be a visit has become a vigil.

I'm sad, because I held him in a lot of affection, but the worst is watching Jim's and Devin's grief.

I didn't go with him--I wasn't scheduled to, and Devin flew over to be with her Dad, Jim's brother, and Mark and his son are also there. I feel as though in some ways I should have gone to be there for Jim, but he has them and his other siblings. I will go there for the memorial, whenever that is.

Meanwhile the weather has turned gorgeous and I'm inside doing taxes which makes my brain hurt. I want to have them done and ready as quickly as I can in case we schedule a trip back to North Carolina quickly. I put them off as long as I can each year because the combination of the Canadian and U.S. ones with my writing income is so complicated. I don't use a tax program because of that. Or I could use one for the U.S. ones, but I wouldn't know where to start with the Canadian ones. So each year I do them by hand and break my brains.

In some ways right now it's a great distraction.


For my recent listening, reading, writing news and an entry from my 1997 journal, see Les Semaines.
marzipan pigmarzipan_pig on April 8th, 2009 07:48 am (UTC)
Oh honey. I am so sorry for both of you *hug*
Neile Grahamneile on April 8th, 2009 09:49 pm (UTC)
Thanks, Annemarie. *hug* back.
Stephanie Burgisstephanieburgis on April 8th, 2009 08:52 am (UTC)
I am so sorry. *HUGS*
Neile Grahamneile on April 8th, 2009 09:49 pm (UTC)
Thanks, Stephanie. And a *HUG* back!
rcloenen_ruizrcloenen_ruiz on April 8th, 2009 01:11 pm (UTC)
I'm very sorry to read this, Neile. *hugs*
Neile Grahamneile on April 8th, 2009 09:49 pm (UTC)
Thanks, and hugs back to you for your mom!
Amy Sissonamysisson on April 8th, 2009 01:25 pm (UTC)
I'm so sorry about your father-in-law.
Neile Grahamneile on April 8th, 2009 09:49 pm (UTC)
Thanks, Amy!
Sherwood Smithsartorias on April 8th, 2009 01:52 pm (UTC)
Oh, I am so very sorry.
Neile Grahamneile on April 8th, 2009 09:50 pm (UTC)
Thanks, Sherwood.
Ada Milenkovic Brown: Ada McGrath of The Pianoaccordingto_ada on April 8th, 2009 01:54 pm (UTC)
I'm so very sorry. You will be in my thoughts.
Neile Grahamneile on April 8th, 2009 09:51 pm (UTC)
Thank you, Ada.
R. R. Angellrrangell on April 8th, 2009 01:58 pm (UTC)
Oh, Neile. My thoughts and condolences are with you and Jim.
Neile Grahamneile on April 8th, 2009 09:50 pm (UTC)
Thanks, Bob.
Marshamsisolak on April 8th, 2009 02:00 pm (UTC)
I'm so sorry to hear this, Neile. You're all in my thoughts and prayers.
Neile Grahamneile on April 8th, 2009 09:51 pm (UTC)
Thanks, Marcia.
meredithsmoemeth on April 8th, 2009 02:04 pm (UTC)
I was in Jim's position exactly 2 years ago... my thoughts are with you both.
Neile Grahamneile on April 8th, 2009 09:52 pm (UTC)
Argh! So you know how strange the world seems. Thanks for your sympathies.
Chris Furst: detective clowntheclownhunt on April 8th, 2009 04:47 pm (UTC)
I'm sorry about Jim's father, Neile -- keeping you all in my thoughts.
Neile Grahamneile on April 8th, 2009 09:53 pm (UTC)
Thanks, Chris!
Melinda Danskymelindadansky on April 8th, 2009 06:05 pm (UTC)
*hugs* I am so sorry.

This is totally off-topic, but I will be in Seattle this weekend. I'm going to Norwescon and staying with Derek. Any chance I'll see you?

Part of being there for someone else means taking care of yourself and doing the things that need doing while they're distracted. You're doing that, and it's a good thing.
Neile Grahamneile on April 8th, 2009 09:55 pm (UTC)
Thanks, Melinda.

I would love to see you, but I don't have Norwescon plans. Will you be coming into Seattle or just doing the Bellevue-SeaTac run?

We're scheduled for a writing retreat with friends all day Saturday. We're thinking we'll go ahead with it unless there is news about Jim's dad, so probably I'm probably not available Saturday either way.

Melinda Danskymelindadansky on April 9th, 2009 01:00 am (UTC)
Let me check with mein hosts. They might have already made plans on Sunday. I'm mostly following in their wake for the weekend.
morgan_x on April 11th, 2009 09:03 am (UTC)
Our thoughts are with you and your family.